Valentine’s Day remains my favorite holiday. It could be all the varieties of pinks, reds, sprinkled sweets, or our civil duty to eat chocolate! Maybe it is the fact I am a wholehearted romantic that truly does believe that love conquers all.
Wherever you find yourself today (single, married, committed, divorced, separated, widowed) know this, YOU ARE LOVED. There is such incredible kindness in this world I experience daily. I see it on the light rail, at the grocery store, in parking lots, even online. The spirit of wonder and awe is present and alive everywhere just waiting for you to notice each day.
But what if you have experienced a true disappointment and feel lonely, depressed and are questioning if hope lives? It can be hard to dust yourself off after a heartbreak, loss, or a broken dream. You are not alone, we all have been there. So understand that you are in great company of millions. There are days and times I feel very alone or even question whether finding a soul partnership is possible. But here is what I know:
These states cause us to pause and ask ourselves, what do we really want? We realize how important relationships are and it pushes us outside of our comfortable zones of “safety” because we seek a deeper life than what we presently have. Honestly, it is doubtful we would take these steps on our own without that desire of love that is built into us.
I have been looking at the connection between safety and love. Some of us have deep scars that cause us to think of love as something scary. Although we want it, we are fearful of letting it fully into our lives. One of my closest friends is currently on the cliff’s edge of safety in her relationship to her partner. They want to get married but she is unsure. She has to decide whether she will take a chance and jump into the unknown of love or stay where she is (wanting evidence or a promise it will all work out).
I too relate to the need to protect myself, because the world seems unsafe and others can not be trusted. Of course, this is not true but it can often feel that way when we hold back on truly living because we are afraid. Remember that you can never be in fear and love at the same time. You are either operating out of LOVE (which is safety, trust, vulnerability) or FEAR (protection, isolation, holding back). When we feel alone/lonely we are living in the lie of fear that when we are alone we are not loved or loveable. There are times when we are most alone while in a bad marriage, there is no around to listen to us or we are surrounded by crowds of people. True love comes from allowing fear to melt away and trust that love has our back as we pursue relationships. This doesn’t mean your love life needs to look like what Hollywood demonstrates on the big screen.
So far my biggest love in life has been my sister, I haven’t ever felt the deepness of connection and radical acceptance by anyone else on the planet like she offers me. I also have three nieces that fill up my love tank in a way that is pure goodness. I used to think that to experience love daily in life I needed to be in romantic partnership or married. It’s so false, love is accessible to everyone right now no matter where you are at.
Affirmations to beloved (right now):
I am worthy of love.
It is safe to be loved.
It’s okay to share my heart with another.
When I love others, it fills me up.
When give love, I get love.
Don’t hold back today. Use this year’s love celebration day to kick off a new life without fear controlling your decisions. Instead offer others love because you are loved.