STEP 2: RELEASE YOUR STORY
Last week we looked at STEP 1: HOW TO HEAL. By the act of observation (without judgment) you can look at all situations in your life and emotions inside and allow for acceptance. Not a easy thing to do, but you did it and can continue to do so.
Onto STEP 2. As a wellness coach and behavioral change expert, I start by listening to people’s stories. As I hear them speak I have come to understand how much their past impacts their present lives. We believe our own story that we tell. We all have one, yes, even you. It may be that you were left and unlovable, or that you always have bad luck in finances, or perhaps it is that you can’t find the right job. We all have a “story” that we repeat inside and to others. So what, what’s the big deal? Why does it matter?
Your story defines you
Your story keeps you stuck
Your story boxes you in the current state of your life
When we have a story, it affects how we feel, act and interact with the world around us. For example, there is women I will call Jojo, who is brilliant, intelligent, gorgeous, financially stable and successful in her career. However, Jojo love life is a mess. She dates men that treat her horribly, cheat on her, steal from her and even emotional abuse her. She wants more than anything to get married and start a family. Yet, she can’t seem to find anyone to date, other than these types of men. She asks friends and family, and co workers to set her up. But nothing ever pans out. She might even go out with a few men, but always comes up with a reason it didn’t work or why they were not a match. So what gives?
On the outside, you would think why is this amazing women single and only dating jerks? But Jojo starts speaking, you can see that she doesn’t think much of herself. She has carried with her a story of past hurt, sadness, abandonment and fear that keep her away from the exact thing she wants. Her past of being left by her father when she was too young to even recall, her mother's stories and watching all of the boyfriends that came and went throughout her childhood set a tone for her that JoJo thinks is the truth about men.
Of course, it’s not. Its HER story. The false story would come to conclude the follow: men are scary, men will leave, men are not to be trusted. JoJo continued to attract the exact opposite of what she desired into her life. When Jojo, started to do take stock of the inner landscape of her emotions and acknowledge what was there for her (step one), she was able to see and observe that hurt and pain from the past.
Now that she understood it was there, she could choose a different story, but first she had to release the current one. One problem, she didn’t know how to do this. She did therapy, read books, primal scream technique, vitamins, supplements, exercise...yet it wouldn't’ budge. She felt hopeless and one day she realized she didn’t know how to do it. Feeling hopeless, she broke down and prayed for God to lift this story. She asked for healing of her past that she herself could not do on her own.
It was then when she let down and released it all and admitted her own lack of ability to make it better was God able to step in. He is a gentleman and waits for our invitation. Only then did the deeper healing begin. This type of situation is so true for thousands of people whom I have coached.
Complete surrender is needed for healing to begin.
Of course, we must do our own ability and power to live a healthy lifestyle, making good choices and changing the things we can. But there are things that we simply can’t do alone. When we feel hopeless or powerless, know that God doesn’t want you to suffer, he wants to take over for you. It's not your job to heal yourself, only the divine is able to do so.
By releasing our story we are letting go of the circumstance of our life. We have awareness and admit to the parts of our life we are at loss of how to change, This is where the beauty happens. We hand over our inability, confusion, circumstances and God takes over.
So this week, release your story. Let go of everything that has been holding you back from the life and person you were created to be.
Next week, STEP 3: DREAMY LOVE LIFE